Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

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agny
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by agny »

@anguyen92 Sounds like things are turning for the better, good. Thanks for sharing your story.
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TenaciousBe
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by TenaciousBe »

I gotta come to this subforum more often. This right here ought to be thread of the year! Extremely happy that you all have come (or are coming) through your struggles, and everyone seems to be on the upswing again. We all may have our differences, not always get along the greatest, but it warms the cockles of my heart to see people supporting each other this way. We're all one family, as dysfunctional as it may be at times. Love you guys.
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Jim
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by Jim »

Yeah man, decent thread right here. I made it to show that I'm actually a normal, problem riddled person just like everyone else. And everyone else came forward too, its really nice.
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by ElenaSpain »

Wow, I just came back to the forum after a long time and I found this thread.

Very touching stories. We all live a life of ups and downs. SOmetimes we think we are alone but we are not, although it´s difficult to see the light.
I went through depression when I moved to the USA. Funny? Living my dream and it became a nightmare at the beginning. At the time, I discovered that we are stronger that we think and weaker than we think.I discovered Creed at that time. Human Clay and its lyrics are my therapy when I feel the world is against me. It always amazes me the effect that that cd has on me.

I´m glad you are all leaving behind illness, fears and nightmares. Writing is also a therapy and sometimes it's therapeutical to share your stories with strangers as they are not part of your daily lives (somehow) and they give a different insight of what's going on.

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Crumbso
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by Crumbso »

Jim wrote:Yeah man, decent thread right here. I made it to show that I'm actually a normal, problem riddled person just like everyone else. And everyone else came forward too, its really nice.
Yep, we're all fucked up together.
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Doom
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by Doom »

Well, sure this topic is a bit old but anyways
I can relate with many of you in various points..
Although I'm only 18 years old I have been trough a lot of things that were/are hard to bear
I really don't know if I had been depressed (I mean I don't know if I can check to all the symptoms but many yes) but being down many days yes...
My life at home was/it's a shit since I can remember, I'm the one who has to sopport with my parents fights
(Always in the middle of it..)
I think that I can say that 2005 was a shit of year for me, at only the age of 10
My brother died because of a stupid drunk driver... It still hurts

School? Bullshit of partners who will treat you like trash..

perfect combo right?

I have trought about suicide? yes
I have tried it? not but I have tried to cut myself breaking a piece of glass. result? I didn't get hurt, not even scar..

Since october of last year I have been having sleeping troubles, nightmares, insomnia...

And I am still here.. Obviously music has been a help.. an escape of reality..

At this moment i can relate to All hope is gone

Since I discovered Never born to follow I think it's the perfect song for my funeral..
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Jim
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by Jim »

Bro it would be a good idea to talk to a doctor and counsellor about what's going on. The loss of your brother seems to have really hurt your family and yourself.. Please go and do that
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Doom
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by Doom »

you think so? they (my parents) have been like that since I remember, the only difference is after that happened, it turned worse, they get in a blame game, sometimes I'm in.. and I have to bear with it..
They did it all before, only with time it got worse..
Bless earphones!
I was / am the sack that fills till it breaks..

And Jim, I'm actually a girl
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Lotha
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by Lotha »

All your stories have touched me, so I will share mine. Life is a really fucked up thing sometimes. I'm also struggling with depression (I think) for the past three years. First I lost my dad to a sudden illness. Still miss him very much, although, it's weird: we never really had a normal relationship, due to my mom blaming him for everything that went bad in our lives, basically... he didn't live with us for some time, and I never really wanted to hear his side... I feel awful about it now because I realize that if it was anyone's fault, it was my mom's... but I can't change the past now, I can only learn to live with that.

After that I realized my best friend wasn't really my best friend anymore, which hit me hard... And then a blow after another for the past two years: first my mom was diagnosed with a tumor, then my brother. Both recovered successfully, thank God, but it was very traumatic.
I am fortunate enough that I have a couple of really great friends, and my boyfriend has been with me through all this (or most of this - he also had a really rough time last summer and despite all my efforts drifted away from me back then, and that was hard too, but it didn't last long), so I had immense support. Without them and without music and books, I would be a wreck right now. I'm struggling to get out of the slum as it is. I'm a bit of a fragile health, have some problems I'm too young for, like low blood pressure, anemia, and some other chronic health problems, but nothing serious. To be alright I just have to take really good care of myself and be careful, which is sometimes very tiring... but I manage.

See, when everything is falling apart around me, I tend to be the strongest and be a pillar of support for everyone. But then, when the danger passes, I'm the one who falls apart. But I know that people who love me will do everything they can to help me and I know everything is going to be alright eventually. But I did have difficult times when I didn't believe in anything and was too TIRED to get out of bed in the morning, worn out by everything I was struggling with.

Reading all your stories, I could really relate to them and I'm glad everyone is trying to get better, I know how hard it can get and when life is just so hard on you. I take it as a challenge now. To overcome anything. In the end you can't grow and evolve without difficulties to spur you on. I prove to myself that I'm worthy of a good life when I don't let hard times destroy me. And life's also been good in that sense... it rewards you sooner or later. There's always tomorrow!

So let's all keep our heads high, shall we? Yes, we are fucked up, yes, some of us have seen and did what a "normal" person with a "happy" life has never had to deal with, but we're here now, after having dealt with everything, stronger for the experience. Find some light in the darkness, and hugs for all :hug :cheers
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agny
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by agny »

:hug Life is kind of rough right now but I have to remind myself it has been worse and I made it through, and a year from now I won't even remember a lot of what's stressing me out at the moment. Making a lot of Brand New Starts right now.
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Jim
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by Jim »

Gonna be nominating this for thread of the year guys, thanks everyone for your stories and journeys
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Jim
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by Jim »

Glad this thread got a few nominations for Thread Of The Year
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Micky
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by Micky »

I used to post on this board very frequently. But within the past 6 months, a lot of things have gone wrong in my life.

Jim knows, but I had a bit of a drinking problem and i remember telling him I was doing okay, but it came back with a vengeance in November.

See, in September, I was determined to join the United States Navy, but i had broken my back about 3 years ago and I fractured it at training, and was told I could no longer join. That really hit me hard because I tried so hard. Ya know? You ever work so hard at something and then you finally accomplish it and you feel so proud of yourself, and everyone tells you how proud they are of you? I was so disappointed in myself, and several members of my family told me how disappointed they were in me. And between all that, I had lost my girlfriend and she started seeing someone else. I tried to do the same, but I couldn't get over my ex. I ended things with the new girl, and just kind of did nothing. I worked part time and wrote poetry in my spare time. My friends were all with their girlfriends and they had all joined the military successfully. In October, I hit rock bottom and started doing drugs and drinking again.

Then, right after Halloween, my ex and i sat down to talk and we worked things out. We're back together now and are happier than ever.

In January, I tried to join the Navy again. Successfully. I got doctor clearance and everything for my recruiters documents. I was set to ship out April 3rd. How it works here is, April 2nd, the recruiters pick you up to stay in a hotel near the military base you'll be shipping from. Then the morning of the 3rd, you leave to the base to do some processing.

However, prior to processing, I got in infection in my foot. My foot swelled up and i was put on medication. The day of the 2nd, my recruiter told me to throw away my medication and not tell the doctors at the processing base about my foot infection. He also told me not to tell them about my back if they don't bring it up. I asked him about the medical clearance I got from my doctors and he said it wasn't enough. He said to lie to the people at the processing station( which is called MEPS), and say i never broke any bones or had any changes to my medical history.

Well, I'm waiting for the bus, and the doctors and a Master Chief in the navy come and get me. They tell me I won't be shipping out for boot camp that day. They said they saw my foot infection and asked why I didnt tell them about it. I told them about my recruiter telling me not to and they sat me down and said that what my recruiter told me to do was breaking the law. They asked me what else I was told to lie about, and tears immediately started coming from my eyes, because i knew the second I told them about my back, I was done. But, i told them. They then pulled up my medical record, and were baffled that I made it this far in the process.

I had fractured two vertebrae on my spine in 2011, and they didnt heal correctly. So they pulled up my x rays and showed me. They said if I had gone to boot camp, I could be paralyzed. They told me I will not be shipping out for bootcamp...ever. They said I was going home. They said because of how honest I was, that they were not going to medically discharge me, just send me home. My recruiter however, is going to prison for conspiracy to commit fraud.

So I came home, and i just have never been so disappointed in myself. I just don't understand why he would set me up for failure like that. Your recruiter is supposed to set you up for success. Not failure. Not possible prison time. I trusted my recruiter, and he just played me like a fool. All he cared about was the commission he'd get off of me joining. It's so hard.

I don't even know what to do anymore guys. I just feel like giving up. My life is pretty wrecked right now. My family just seems so disappointed in me and heartbroken that i didnt go. It's an awkward feeling.

Does anyone have any advice on how to pick myself up?

I just feel lost and alone I guess. I dont know. Its just killing me.
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by Andy92 »

It's unfortunate you don't have support from your family, because you don't have any control over the situation involving your back. I know joining the Navy was your dream, but if the doctors say you're not physically able to join, then you have to take their word, and that isn't your fault. I would suggest taking some time to determine what things you love to do in life. Find something that you enjoy and just devote yourself to it. Whether it be playing an instrument, writing, photography, etc, you just need to pursue something that you have a desire to do.

Focus in living for what you love to do, and don't focus on what your family or friends expect you to do. Because at the end of the day it's not worth spending your life trying to please everyone else.

Hope to see you around here more, Micky. Try to keep your head up man.
anguyen92 wrote:Oh well. Deal with it.

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Crumbso
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by Crumbso »

Man. You have nothing to be disappointed in yourself for. You tried your damn hardest, twice, to get where you wanted that's all you can do. It sounds like none of it was your fault so you can be disappointed in not getting to where you wanted to be but please don't be disappointed in yourself.

About 7 years ago I was exactly in your state of mind and honestly could never envisage being happy again but... things change. They really really do.

Identify short-term and long term goals, do some thinking and find out what else in life you really might want to do and just work one day at a time to make it happen. You'll get there man. I went from a suicide attempt to now being happy and supporting myself in a happy stable relationship, all within about 5 years or so. Confide in your friends in general life, online or otherwise and just keep trying. Never give up.

I failed university but now I do marketing, photography and writing for a a construction company. I play in a band. I buy and sell motorcycles in my spare time for fun and a bit of money. It took 5 years to build up to what I have, with no help from my parents (they're broke and in a different country) but it just goes to show that if you're determined and you work hard then you can build to something from nothing.
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AB4Lyfe
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by AB4Lyfe »

You're not alone. Your girlfriend will be there as your support, and if needed, you got about 1100 members on here that'll help you if needed.

That being said, here's my advice: don't let it eat you up. If you really let it get to you and make you feel down about yourself, you'll only be delaying yourself in coming back even stronger. Accept the fact that what happened is in the past and try to find a new direction or something new to pursuit. Easier said than done, yes. However, you'll feel better if you try to find it sooner rather than later. If you want your family to not appear to be disappointed in you anymore, then find something they can be proud of you for. Not only that, but they'll respect you even more in the end because life's about how many times you get hit and keep moving forward.

It's a lot easier said than done, but you'll be happier in the end, guaranteed.
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agny
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by agny »

Micky wrote:They said if I had gone to boot camp, I could be paralyzed. ...
So I came home, and i just have never been so disappointed in myself.
First, I'm so glad you posted again.

Second, you have NO reason to be disappointed in yourself. You have been failed by whatever medical staff didn't help you with your back as well as they might, by your family for not being fully supportive of you, and by this recruiter. What did you do? Try to enlist in the military -- which take a lot of guts -- not once, but twice. You chose honesty -- be proud of that.

Enlisting could have been a risk to fellow military if you weren't able to fully perform you job. More importantly, it could have killed you, not dying for a cause, but for being put in a situation for which you were not equipped. It is much much better for you to be alive to find another path.

Failure is hard to take and no platitudes will make it better (though some Alter Bridge songs willl help). I feel some scars of failing at one of my big life goals almost every day, but time and building up other new things will help. It's surprising how much things change over time.

Please keep posting, and send some of us private messages if you're more comfortable with that.

:hug Glad you are still with us.
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Micky
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by Micky »

Just wanted to say thanks to you guys for the love and support. It really means a lot to me that I have this huge family on here for help.

I put on Fortress for the first time in a while the other day, and when All Ends Well came on, I just kind of lost it. I bawled for a while and contemplated a lot of things. I just feel lost and confused. It's like I can't catch a break, ya know?

My girlfriend is being as supportive as she can be, but she's quite busy with college and work. She's not around very frequently, so I kind of feel on my own with this one. There's a field in the woods by my house that my buddies and I used to go to, and I've been going there a lot lately, just to relax. It's been great weather in Jersey lately so it's been helpful. My nieces came up with my older sister to visit me after what happened. They left this morning and man, I love spending time with those kids. I post pictures of them all the time on my instagram if you guys have that and wanna follow me: bobbycaputo24 . They're great kids, they live in Maryland so its always great to see them. One is two and the other is one. So it's a great age.

I'm fighting that fight. My uncle always told me that every person has 1 fight in their life that they have to overcome, and I feel like this is mine. I don't post her a lot, but I'm constantly scrolling through and seeing the stories from you guys really motivates me and tells me that I can get through this.

I'm focusing on going to school now. I've applied to two colleges and am setting my sights on school in the fall. Hope to make you guys proud. I want to be a teacher, so that way I can teach kids to never give up and always do what they set their mind to.
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Re: Music (Alter Bridge) Saved My Life

Post by Andy92 »

Micky wrote:I'm focusing on going to school now. I've applied to two colleges and am setting my sights on school in the fall. Hope to make you guys proud. I want to be a teacher, so that way I can teach kids to never give up and always do what they set their mind to.
Good on ya man. But don't do it to make us proud, do it to make yourself proud. We'll support you in whatever you want to do (as long as it's legal ;) )
anguyen92 wrote:Oh well. Deal with it.

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Re: Plus, being that much closer to zaz can't hurt. Much.

Post by zazthespaz »

Micky wrote:I'm focusing on going to school now. I've applied to two colleges and am setting my sights on school in the fall. Hope to make you guys proud. I want to be a teacher, so that way I can teach kids to never give up and always do what they set their mind to.
Good for you dude! Hope it works out for you! What schools are you looking at? If you haven't done your first two years yet, consider County College of Morris if it's within driving distance of you. It's one of the top 10 county colleges in the country or something along those lines. Saves you a lot of money too!
anguyen92 wrote:
Oh well. Deal with it.
gbruin wrote:
Go reread what zaz says

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