The Official "Total Randomness" Thread

[Violent Corpse]

And here I am wasting my life away

[SHEAKENBAKEN]

And here I am wasting my life away

Same here! #Nolife

[Macca]

Get off the internet then! I used to be the same way, that's why I was always on here. If you wanna start living life you've gotta go outside and make things happen. Bitchin about it on an internet forum won't change it

[Lotha]

Not necessarily get off the internet, just do other stuff that can make you happy.

[Timotheus]

Yea, nothing wrong with being on the internet if that's something you enjoy doing. Don't let anybody make you feel lonely because of that. But if you're bothered about having no life, take some initiative. I know it's safe and quiet inside, but in my experience too much of that can lead to apathy.

Waiting on some details, Cam!

There's a girl in my school that's been drawing my attention. She's doing the same course as me, but she's in another class. I think I need some well-valued TABN tips to approach here!

[Violent Corpse]

Well, I've tried being more outgoing. Didn't really work out. I feel more alone when I'm with people.

@Timo: She winked at you?

[Andy92]

Get another friend in class to walk up to her and say, "Haaaaaaave ya met Timo?" And you should be good to go.

[DonHarry]

How old are you corpse? Let DonHarry counsel you some. I'll get you back on the straight and narrow.

Timo, I'll share a nugget of wisdom with you. Girls like confidence. You walk right up to this girl, put your right hand on her left breast, look her dead in the eye and say 'hey babe'. Thank me later.

Seriously though, they do dig confidence. You have common ground because you're on the same course. You loose nothing by having a crack, the only thing stopping any of us is fear of rejection. Learn not to take it personally, care a little less, and paradoxically it instantly makes you more attractive to the majority of the opposite sex. Confidence is king. Neediness is a huge turn off. It takes balls to put yourself out there, the more you do it the easier it becomes, the more attractive you become. I have massive balls. I digress. Make a comment about the course to her, open conversation. It's a start.

[Timotheus]

Get another friend in class to walk up to her and say, "Haaaaaaave ya met Timo?" And you should be good to go.

Well, we're only with two guys, so we need to have each other's back.

Timo: She winked at you?

That wouldn't attract me at all, lol.

Seriously though, they do dig confidence. You have common ground because you're on the same course. You loose nothing by having a crack, the only thing stopping any of us is fear of rejection. Learn not to take it personally, care a little less, and paradoxically it instantly makes you more attractive to the majority of the opposite sex. Confidence is king. Neediness is a huge turn off. It takes balls to put yourself out there, the more you do it the easier it becomes, the more attractive you become. I have massive balls. I digress. Make a comment about the course to her, open conversation. It's a start.

Yea, I figured since there are only two guys she'd at least have to feel flattered I start talking with her (as in: there are 50 girls to talk to, but I picked her). Sucks that I only get to see her once a week. Thanks for the advice, I'll figure something out!

[Macca]

Yea, nothing wrong with being on the internet if that's something you enjoy doing. Don't let anybody make you feel lonely because of that

I think you missed my point. I wasn't trying to make anyone feel bad for spending time online. All I'm saying is if they feel like they're wasting their lives away then it most likely isn't gonna change any time soon if they don't make an effort to change it.

[Andy92]

Being proactive is a good first step to making life improvements. I think Macca makes a good point there.

[Timotheus]

Oh no, 100% agree with you, Macca. I was just adding a bit of nuance. There's often a lot of pressure on introverts, to the point where they feel guilty about doing something they love doing. It takes a lot of self-knowledge to find the right balance.

[Violent Corpse]

How old are you corpse? Let DonHarry counsel you some. I'll get you back on the straight and narrow.

24 next month. Holy shit. I feel old.

And I didn't really mean to say that I wish I had a life. It's just that I feel useless these days because I have nothing to do.

I really don't mind living a lonely existence. I just wish I wasn't so poor so I could buy things to keep me company.

[cheesedip1]

I feel more alone when I'm with people.

What do you mean?

I mean, if you dont really mesh well with the people you hang out with, perhaps find some new people to hang with?

Not trying to sound condesending here. I'm just curious, that's all.

[Violent Corpse]

I'll leave the stage for Timotheus to explain these things...

Edit: I'll just say this..

I meant I don't enjoy being in a place with a lot of people. Socializing exhausts me. I do have friends that I hang out with once in a while, because I need something to break the monotony. But my friendships with people don't mean anything more than just goofing around and insulting each other in good fun.

[Timotheus]

I always have to pee right before I get on stage...

I absolutely know what you mean, VC. Comparing yourself with other people and feeling like you're not good enough, especially when it comes to being social. Constantly being reminded that you're odd or boring when you're trying to talk with people because you think they think you're those things. It can be quite comforting to just stop interacting with people and stay inside. Steven Wilson's '3 Years Older' sums it up pretty well. When you're alone, that's when you're free: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/stevenwi ... older.html

But I think you can grow out of that. At least that's what I did. I'm still an introvert and I still need moments on my own, and I still have my awkward moments (trust me, lol), but I can get along with other people pretty easily nowadays. I know it's not easy, but try to surround yourself with people that accept you for who you are (you can always pm me if you need to talk). Try to find a passion and focus on that. You'll find a lot of confidence in that.

[Violent Corpse]

I always have to pee right before I get on stage...

I absolutely know what you mean, VC. Comparing yourself with other people and feeling like you're not good enough, especially when it comes to being social. Constantly being reminded that you're odd or boring when you're trying to talk with people because you think they think you're those things. It can be quite comforting to just stop interacting with people and stay inside. Steven Wilson's '3 Years Older' sums it up pretty well. When you're alone, that's when you're free: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/stevenwi ... older.html

But I think you can grow out of that. At least that's what I did. I'm still an introvert and I still need moments on my own, and I still have my awkward moments (trust me, lol), but I can get along with other people pretty easily nowadays. I know it's not easy, but try to surround yourself with people that accept you for who you are (you can always pm me if you need to talk). Try to find a passion and focus on that. You'll find a lot of confidence in that.

While there is the odd/awkward factor that gets in the way sometimes with me, but more importantly this withdrawn mode of existence is a natural predisposition for me. I think I am leaving the impression that I am depressed or bothered about this, and I appreciate the concern you all are showing me, but don't worry guys. I am totally fine.

I have actually made a lot of progress in my social skills as well. I used to be extremely shy. But I have learned that shyness can be driven away, and social skills can be worked on, but introversion (or extroversion for that matter) stays with you. And so it is with me.

Also it's not like I don't like socializing at all. I'm just extremely picky about who I choose to talk to. Nearly all of the time, it's me ditching friends/acquaintances than the other way round.
Most of the time it's not the fear of rejection or being judged that holds me back, it's just that it's really difficult to find people I can really connect with on a meaningful level. If I can't "feel" it with a person, I'll try to get rid of them ASAP. I know I sound like a jerk, but I'm not like this out of a false sense of superiority or anything; it's not contempt or anything for the people I keep at a distance; it's just a compatibility thing.

My comment about not having a life, was just me being really bored with it and not the cry of someone wanting to kill himself. So relax guys.

[Timotheus]

Didn't mean to patronize. It's just when I get to talk about this topic I always get all motivational, lol.

I think you just don't have that meaningful connection with everybody from the start. It's something you work on. I get the impulse though.

[Violent Corpse]

Didn't mean to patronize. It's just when I get to talk about this topic I always get all motivational, lol.

I think you just don't have that meaningful connection with everybody from the start. It's something you work on. I get the impulse though.

No no, I didn't feel patronized at all. I know you're only trying to help and I appreciate that a lot.

Agree with you on the second account as well. I'm not saying I'm perfect but, there are early signs that can reveal whether you're talking to the right person. It's another introvert skill that you only get better at with experience.

[Lotha]

I have these periods as well, but it ebbs and flows for me, and also I always have someone to hang out with if I want to. I think that's important.

I think Harry gave you good advice, Timo. Just avoid keeping the conversation about the course and assignments only, ya know, show some interest in her.