I miss my grandfather
Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 1:21 pm
On January 13, 2018 my grandfather (Poppy), Robert Langan passed away.
I'm lost.
I posted here last year that my grandmother had cancer, and it turns out that was a misdiagnosis, but they have yet to find out whats wrong with her. Her husband, Poppy, was diagnosed with Lung Cancer shortly after, and he had major surgery, but was able to overcome the surgery.
On January 4th, he had a heart attack. He was rushed to the hospital and was told he was going to have to have open heart surgery. Then they changed their minds and said he would die if they did. Then, every day something else went wrong. First he got pneumonia, then his kidney's started failing, then he could not breathe on his own, and then he asked them to stop treatments. He asked them to put him to sleep.
My biological father left when I was 1. My grandfather, for many of my young years raised me until my mother met the man i would grow up calling my dad. My dad worked two jobs my entire life, so I was extremely close to my grandfather. He always called me his "boy." He taught me to fish, to fight, to golf, to treat a woman, to do almost anything and everything I know how to do.
I sat with him everyday for hours at the hospital. We were side by side the entire time. On the day he passed away, I went to see him right after work. I worked from 230AM-10AM that day, so I was exhausted. We were both dozing off in the hospital, but he was trying to stay awake because he had me there. I told him to get some rest and that I would be up a little later. I gave him a kiss on the head, said "love you big guy", and he grabbed my hand, and through his oxygen mask said "I love you kid". If you knew my grandfather, you would think that was weird because he NEVER was a sentimental man. I knew something was wrong, but he went right to sleep and his nurse asked me to leave so he could rest a bit.
I left...
I got home and took a quick nap, maybe an hour. Then my mom calls and says "Poppy is going to sleep. He wants to stop treatments. You can either come or stay home, it is up to you." I was in my car before she finished talking. I drove to the hospital, ran to the room and saw him screaming, crying about how much pain he was in. To see the man I grew up idolizing, screaming "Put me down", was enough to take me down. I was a mess. My grandmother, who is wheelchair bound and in rough shape as is, was a mess. My whole family was there. It was bad. We all got to hold him while he passed away and say our goodbyes.
It has been really hard and we are all taking it hard. He was such a great man, and we are all trying to stay strong for my grandmother. She is having a difficult time, and we fear she will be joining him shortly.
I am sorry for the rant, but I feel bad for not being on here much anymore, but my personal life, as nice as I make it look on social media, etc. is a big mess and I am not okay. I miss my father.
I'm lost.
I posted here last year that my grandmother had cancer, and it turns out that was a misdiagnosis, but they have yet to find out whats wrong with her. Her husband, Poppy, was diagnosed with Lung Cancer shortly after, and he had major surgery, but was able to overcome the surgery.
On January 4th, he had a heart attack. He was rushed to the hospital and was told he was going to have to have open heart surgery. Then they changed their minds and said he would die if they did. Then, every day something else went wrong. First he got pneumonia, then his kidney's started failing, then he could not breathe on his own, and then he asked them to stop treatments. He asked them to put him to sleep.
My biological father left when I was 1. My grandfather, for many of my young years raised me until my mother met the man i would grow up calling my dad. My dad worked two jobs my entire life, so I was extremely close to my grandfather. He always called me his "boy." He taught me to fish, to fight, to golf, to treat a woman, to do almost anything and everything I know how to do.
I sat with him everyday for hours at the hospital. We were side by side the entire time. On the day he passed away, I went to see him right after work. I worked from 230AM-10AM that day, so I was exhausted. We were both dozing off in the hospital, but he was trying to stay awake because he had me there. I told him to get some rest and that I would be up a little later. I gave him a kiss on the head, said "love you big guy", and he grabbed my hand, and through his oxygen mask said "I love you kid". If you knew my grandfather, you would think that was weird because he NEVER was a sentimental man. I knew something was wrong, but he went right to sleep and his nurse asked me to leave so he could rest a bit.
I left...
I got home and took a quick nap, maybe an hour. Then my mom calls and says "Poppy is going to sleep. He wants to stop treatments. You can either come or stay home, it is up to you." I was in my car before she finished talking. I drove to the hospital, ran to the room and saw him screaming, crying about how much pain he was in. To see the man I grew up idolizing, screaming "Put me down", was enough to take me down. I was a mess. My grandmother, who is wheelchair bound and in rough shape as is, was a mess. My whole family was there. It was bad. We all got to hold him while he passed away and say our goodbyes.
It has been really hard and we are all taking it hard. He was such a great man, and we are all trying to stay strong for my grandmother. She is having a difficult time, and we fear she will be joining him shortly.
I am sorry for the rant, but I feel bad for not being on here much anymore, but my personal life, as nice as I make it look on social media, etc. is a big mess and I am not okay. I miss my father.