Depression - What are your experiences?

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gbruin
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Re: Depression - What are your experiences?

Post by gbruin »

I know it's impossible to see now, VC, but there will be a day ahead when things will open up for you again and there will be small sources of joy and meaning that will take root. I am glad that you have the responsibilities and family to occupy you during this awful time, if only to hold you up and buy time until your own life begins again. It will. It may be a long time and you will not be able to see it now, but it absolutely will.
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agny
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Re: Depression - What are your experiences?

Post by agny »

I hope our original poster will check back in too. As for me, family history of depression and other mental illness, plus an emotionally abusive childhood (parents who didn't deal with their own mental illness). I spent most of my childhood, teens, and early adulthood suicidal and just trying to make it to the next phase of life when things would finally be better I hoped. Went on antidepressants for a while and they helped stabilize things. I've also just gotten better at coping as I've gotten older. And in contrast to when I was younger, now I love being alive so much I watch how I spend my time carefully and just hate being mortal.

If I could give my younger self advice, it would probably be (1) worry less (2) you're worried/anxious about the wrong things anyway (3) ignore the judgement of others even more than you already do (4) time is the most limited resource. I worry less than I used to, especially about creating some coherent story arc to my life. I could not have predicted how my life would turn out and I'm kind of glad it didn't go according to plan anyway.

Things that help as other people have mentioned... Getting enough sleep but not too much; staying mostly on a schedule even on the weekends. Exercise - even just a short dog walk - and if you don't have a dog, volunteer at a shelter (bonus they make you feel needed) - or just go walk around the block. Sometime the very hardest thing is getting out of bed and doing something, anything. Eating well but not beating yourself up if you have some treats along the way. Getting sunshine is really important for me, especially with winter coming on. I ate lunch in a very sunny window today to soak in what I could.

This is an interesting metaphor I read a few years ago. Don't hold yourself to others' standards - just make progress in your own world.
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agny
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Re: Depression - What are your experiences?

Post by agny »

whoops doublepost - mods delete if you can
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Violent Corpse
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Re: Depression - What are your experiences?

Post by Violent Corpse »

gbruin wrote:I know it's impossible to see now, VC, but there will be a day ahead when things will open up for you again and there will be small sources of joy and meaning that will take root. I am glad that you have the responsibilities and family to occupy you during this awful time, if only to hold you up and buy time until your own life begins again. It will. It may be a long time and you will not be able to see it now, but it absolutely will.
Thank you, gbruin. I really appreciate the hopeful words. The prospect that things will get better doesn't excite me at all. It feels so unfair that my life continues on, but not my brother's, who worked so hard for it..

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Timotheus
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Re: Depression - What are your experiences?

Post by Timotheus »

Do you find any consolation in music? Or is that too tough right now? I'm not talking about joy or hope, but maybe a small kind of distraction?
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The Plotblocker
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Re: Depression - What are your experiences?

Post by The Plotblocker »

Music is about all that keeps me going right now. I have suffered from depression my whole life, along with anxiety and anger control issues. I hate it. Right now I am in the worst place ever and cannot seem to pull myself back, no matter what I do. If I didn't have music I would have given up long ago.
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Violent Corpse
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Re: Depression - What are your experiences?

Post by Violent Corpse »

Timotheus wrote:Do you find any consolation in music? Or is that too tough right now? I'm not talking about joy or hope, but maybe a small kind of distraction?
No I haven't listened to a song since that crazy day.

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agny
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Re: Depression - What are your experiences?

Post by agny »

Violent Corpse wrote:It feels so unfair that my life continues on, but not my brother's, who worked so hard for it..
Fairness is something I value a great deal at work and when dealing with other people, but sometimes I just have to tell myself that life is wildly unfair, from little things all the way up to life and death. All you can do is try to be kind along the way. And as someone said upthread, I bet your brother would want you to enjoy life when you can. :hug
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Violent Corpse
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Re: Depression - What are your experiences?

Post by Violent Corpse »

agny wrote:
Violent Corpse wrote:It feels so unfair that my life continues on, but not my brother's, who worked so hard for it..
Fairness is something I value a great deal at work and when dealing with other people, but sometimes I just have to tell myself that life is wildly unfair, from little things all the way up to life and death. All you can do is try to be kind along the way. And as someone said upthread, I bet your brother would want you to enjoy life when you can. :hug
You speak truly. But I think more in terms of relativity of the unfairness. It is true, there are many cases of people even more unfortunate than my brother, and others equally so. But there's also many cases where people have had it relatively fair, and I just can't get over the fact that my brother - the one person who deserved it most in my family - wasn't one of them...

:hug

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